Making Our Feelings Known
Our world operates on pretense so often that we, as individuals, tend to lose touch with our feelings and the practice of expressing them. Expressing truthfully our real feelings is spiritual, and it represents transformation through the body, a necessary part of spiritual development. This expression (versus repression) is a way of practicing honesty within ourselves. It's a simple practice, it makes us feel good, and life runs smoother when we do it.
So why do we have the pretenses? We're afraid that someone will ‘find us out.' We're afraid that we won't be accepted if we give our real opinions, or we're afraid that we won't be thought of as highly if we let others know how upset something made us. In response to this, I lovingly suggest that whether sharing our disapproval or appreciation, expressing our need to be heard is incredibly spiritual. This practice creates transformation in social situations, personal relationships as well as inner transformation.
It's OKAY to Have Needs
One of the reasons we are such pretentious beings (besides fear), is the idea that once we have embarked upon a spiritual path, we somehow make it virtually unacceptable for ourselves to have needs. We think we must have spiritualism ‘mastered' right away, as if being incredibly spiritual means to have no needs.
As physical beings, we do have needs: needs for intimacy, needs for interaction and being understood, needs for love, needs for sustenance like food, water, etc. By acknowledging and embracing our needs, we are practicing self acceptance. We are not ‘weak' for paying attention to our needs. Nurturing our needs fosters the proper development of life. Adults need just as much food, love and support as small children do. Taking care of one's self is important, just as is developing emotional independence important, but a healthy personal definition of spiritualism is the embracing of what one needs. Accepting our own needs is a demonstration of independence and spiritual strength. Spiritual independence is not the elimination of needs; it is knowing what you need and accepting that you need it.
How We Use Beliefs
The trick of unconsciousness can easily operate in ourselves as we wear our belief systems of spiritualism, religion, etc. These beliefs may be ‘spiritual,' but they are subject to variation. The variation is how we are using the belief. We can perform any action, but behind the action may be a number of different motivations: compassion, condemnation, fear, disappointment, etc. - all invisible on the surface, but ranging from loving to violent underneath it. If we use our beliefs to create acceptance and unification, the beliefs are serving us. If we use our beliefs as defense and separation, our beliefs are not serving us.
Find the Root Energy
I used to think that facilitating a problem required an explanation to help others become aware. Sometimes an explanation was important, other times it wasn't. But I've come to discover that what some call the ‘sponsoring thought' or ‘root energy' of what is being expressed is the real catalyst for transmutation. When we operate intuitively, we can feel the resonance in other things, people, places, etc. We can feel the root energies as we know them at that time (a bi-product, if you will) of where our energies are and how we are resonating with all things.
Staying in touch with this ‘root energy' within us, what I like to call ‘consciousness' or ‘presence,' helps us to remain detached while being compassionate. If we experience compassion or a sense of peaceful connection in the midst of drama, we are supporting spiritual growth. If, while experiencing drama, we feel the need to defend, micromanage or even rally with the unfavorable cause, we are perpetuating drama, which has a root energy of fear.
Awareness of Ego and Unconsciousness
Unconsciousness is being unaware. It is represented by ego. At its core, ego is fear. It is built in as a protection mechanism, but it becomes unconsciousness when we mistake it for our real identity, or who we think we are. When we become unconscious, we lose touch with our feelings, we become led by ‘what happened' or ‘what will happen,' we feel as if 'life happens to us' instead of 'us making our life happen.'
Ego, no matter how well disguised as ‘support,' will not necessarily bring about an energetic solution or a feeling of spiritual release. Somehow, some way, it will subtly perpetuate the problem. Ego will give us the illusion of a solution, but coerce us to believe that something else also needs our attention, merely digging us deeper into believing that we have a problem. The more conscious we become, the more we can observe this occurring. But be careful. Ego would have us make this very practice into another belief system, which is its way of controlling us, not us mastering it.
Being Yourself vs. Being Pretentious
As it pertains to spiritual growth, the ego would have us believe that putting on a ‘newer belief' would make us ‘more spiritual.' While that could be an indicator of growth, it can also be nothing more than ego disguised as platitudes. Platitude isn't only a ‘tired expression.' Platitude is everything ego would have us say in substitution of us giving a genuine response from our real self in any situation. Spiritual platitudes are helpful for those who are learning to build self esteem, but there comes a time when they too, are no longer needed, and the light of your real responses and gifts are called forth to those who need to receive what you have to share.
We have the ability in each moment, in each situation, to respond to life in a fashion that begets light. A simple test of consciousness growth is to observe if your presence or actions within a scenario dissolves - or enflames. We know that digging deeper into a situation will cause more strain. We know that detaching will create more perspective. Light will beget light. Consciousness will bring about consciousness.
Receiving Help from Others
For those times when we are not self-aware, we are served best when another being can hold that space of presence for us. By doing so, they aren't required to "do" anything in particular for us except share the space we are in, providing support for us. Our negative energies within us know how to resolve themselves. However, when we have a supporter who can ‘hold the space of presence' when we have not yet learned how to in a particular area, we become self-aware more quickly. Sometimes, this saves us lots of time and trouble.
Holding a Space for Others
Through total acceptance of where each person is, we are in the best position to serve them in their consciousness growth. There is nothing wrong with what people are learning. Resist the urge to tell them they should be learning differently. There is a divine blueprint in each of us which gets us into touch with what we are to learn. When we are in spiritual service, we will support what a person is learning by gently guiding them to their chosen path, not pushing onto them our own beliefs, alienating them because of our beliefs, or pushing them away from what they feel drawn to learn.
Staying Centered in Self
The goal for those committed to spiritual growth is most often to "know thy self," feel peace, service, centeredness in self, and being connected to Source. This article serves merely as an example of everyday situations that we can use to create consciousness growth, be a conscious example, and allow life to move through us with grace. Life is set up to serve us, we just need to tune into it and tune into ourselves in our own, unique ways.
c2008 Todd Schaefer
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February 2009 
Soulsolutionshealing.com
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